Craigslist is a crazy place.

I heard that some people liked to be punched in the stomach, for sexual purposes...
I think that is something I can do. Apparently Craigslist didn't look to kindly upon me trying to whore out my belly punching services.

Notice the "semi-professionally" something we always strive for here at LFTS.














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------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: 1260022278
PostID: 1495928158
Title: (casual encounters) Do you want to be punched in the belly? - m4mw
Do you like to be punched in the belly or know someone who does? Looking for a belly punching enthusiast? Then I am the man for you! I have been punching people on and off for a few years and the recent economic strugles have prompted me to try it semi-profesionally. For a minimal fee I will punch you in the belly. Face shots are extra. Punches to other locations are negiotiable. I am willing to punch both men and women. I am 6 foot tall 230 pounds so I can pack quite the punch if needed, Yet I can also take it easy for my more delicate clients. I have recently started offering a very popular new service I perfected. I have dubbed it "the afterslap" It involves a swift open hand slap to the face directly following the belly punch.



St. Louis Metro Area only. I have my own transportation and a location can be provided. We do offer after care featuring orange drink and cakes.






Group Rates available, Book today!



Serious offers only please.



Pictures available upon request.




* Location: St. Louis
* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

ln (e^mreah) = mreah

This does not make sense.Chewbacca

In the weeks and months since I last spoke to you, things have been crazy.
Not crazy in a bald Britney kind of way, more like crazy like the end of Fight Club where he shoots himself in the face and the city blows up but it all seems to be a good thing in the end. (ok maybe not exactly like that)

It has been a crazy Fantasy Football season so far. My team is in 6th place but has the 3rd most points total. I must have angered the fickle fantasy gods. I feel as if it has to even out in the home stretch and hopefully I can make a playoff run. I am 3-6 and yet the outlook is sunny. I still have players I believe in and a few weeks left to make up ground.

I have 2 bits of advice for those seeking some semi-professional fantasy advice.

1.) Do not. I repeat. DO NOT sleep on Calvin Johnson. He has underperformed much of this season (some of that is due to his missing some games). All I ask is that you remember that when healthy, Megatron is a transforming super robot playing among mere humans. It doesn't matter who is throwing him the ball, It doesn't matter the double and triple coverage. This robot in disguise has more talent and physical tools than any receiver in the league. Think of it this way. Some mad scientist went into a lab, mixed the genetics of Randy Moss and T.O with the most advanced nano-technology never created and 20 something years later we have Calvin Johnson.

I categorize Calvin Johnson under the Paul Kariya theory. You see back in the day, I was sure that Paul Kariya was actually a hockey playing cyborg built by Disney to draw attention to the under appreciated Mighty Ducks franchise. He never sweat, he played with pin-point precision. He never slept, just powered down at night.

The NFL needed something for the Detroit Lions, hence Megatron was created. Needless to say, with the trade deadline looming he is a great buy low candidate.


2.) Steven Jackson, while not a super human robot, is the 20 year old highschool senior dominating pre-pubcent boys with his pure power. In our sole win this season. Steven Jackson went back to his childhood and started dragging grown men around like they were rugrats. At the beginning of the season, If I were to ask you "How many touchdowns will SJ39 have at the end of the season?" you would have said 6 at least. I still think he finishes with those touchdowns, so be on the look out for a multiple game touchdown streak in the near future. I doubt you will be able to get him, but if you can snoozle Steven Jackson before the deadline you will not regret it

Check back for end of the season draft grades for our Point per reception point per completion league as the season closes.

Lack of updates

I suck, I know this.

In my defense my wedding is getting closer and things are starting to get a bit hectic. My math class is a little harder than I thought it would be and we are beginning the house hunt thanks to an extended tax credit for first time home buyers. I sure am going to need that honeymoon.

Till next time as Bas Rutten would say "God speed and party on!"

Tom Brady: The Anti-Christ OR Bellicheat

If you are anything like me, you despise the patriots. If the anti-christ were to come to earth, I am sure he would look like this:

I admit to bias. Tom Brady beat my St.Louis Rams on the night Ricky Proehl accurately predicted "Tonight, a dynasty is born". To bad good ole Ricky got the team wrong.

So with this hatred of the Patriots in mind you need to read this article.

It's old for sure, but there is nothing like stirring that pot of hatred of the Patriots from time to time.

The link is basically a statistical break down of the patriots seasons and how they consistently performed higher than would have been predicted by their efficiency stats. Higher even than other teams that out performed their expected production. It's really an interesting read and It is very apparent from the blog "Advanced NFL Stats" that Brian Burke does his homework.

Podcast Episode 5 - Week 3 In Review

Week 3 in review plus Monday Night predictions with Dr. Wang and Tom Potts.

Topics include:

Tony Romo over under 39 points on Monday?




Stepdads vs T-baggn Whiteys
129 147
DeAngelo Williams
Jason Witten Roy Williams

18 point difference



Top fantasy producers:

Peyton 24 for 379 for 4 td's and 1 pick 60 points
MJD 35 points on 119 rushing yards 3 tds 4 recp 28 yards 35 points
Santana Moss 10 for 178 1 td 43points Bonus points
Vernon Davis 7 for 96 2 td's 28 points

Are Santana Moss and Vernon Davis for real?



Lock of the week: Giants only 7% picked them

Is Tampa Bay the worst team in the league?
Redskins

Rams, Browns, Chiefs

Miami Dolphins

Winless Titans


Notice we aren't mentioning the Lions


Undefeated teams

3-0 Denver Broncos
Jets
Saints



Vikings
Ravens
Giants
Colts

Podcast Episode 4 - Week 3 Breakdown

Dr. Wang and myself break down week 3 Fantasy Football action.

We had a lot of fun this week. Tried to let a little more personality come through. We ramble on about non-football related stuff for a while and ask what people would like to hear about on the podcast.

Some topics include:
Pick 'em Debates
New England at Atlanta
Tennessee vs Jets
Buffalo vs NO


which Backup RB that is starting this week would you rather have?

Felix Jones
LeSean McCoy


Fantasy teams of the week
Chicago Bears

Baltimore Ravens

Houston Texans


Lock of the week
Giants at home vs Tampa Bay


Which Chicago WR would you rather have?
Devin Hester
Johnny Knox
Earl Bennett


Which Giants WR would you rather have?
Steve Smith
Mario Manningham


Which Ravens RB would you rather have?
Willis McGahee
Ray Rice

Enjoy!

Podcast Episode 3 - Week 2 Predictions

Episode 3 in the books!
Did some work in the studio for an intro, I hope Goldfinger doesn't mind the sample =)

Week 2 Fantasy Football Predictions, Pick'em, Survival choices! Week 2 players to sit and start, Join The Doctor and I as we lay out our guide to week 2 NFL action.

Good luck in your games this week!

Kanye is a D-Bag

If you haven't seen or heard about this check it out here

Basically Kanye comes up, takes the mic from Taylor Swift and proceeds to say Beyonce should have won. It's actually pretty funny. Beyonce is like WTF?!?!

Now this isn't the first time Kanye has stuck his foot in his mouth.

Case in point. Best part of the above video: Chris Tucker speechless when they cut to him after Kanye drops his "Bush doesn't care about Black People" bomb. (George W. Bush did not in fact care about black people, but that is beside the point.)

Back to the 2009 Video Music Awards...
The President thinks Kanye is a jackass. Even better than that, is what 50 Cent had to say about the situation.

"I wish he would come take one of my awards, so I could black his eye in front of everyone... He pick and choose who you feel safe doing that with... shit Pink was gonna get to him"




In the end though you have to feel sorry for Kanye. Must be hard to be a gay fish.



Requisite link to full gay fish episode.

Fight Night 19, TUF 10

There are basically only two fights on this card that interest me.

1.) Nick Diaz v. Melvin Guillard. This should be an exciting fight. Melvin has always been a banger and Diaz has never backed down from a fight. Overall I think Nick Diaz is probably the more well rounded fighter but Guillard brings KO power to the table. Diaz should win this one easily if he doesn't let himself get drawn into a KO game. Seeing as how this would be Nick Diaz's third loss in a row, I see him staying within the game plan and doing away with Guillard by decision.

2.) "Hollywood" Roger Huerta v. Gray Maynard. Gone are the days of Gray Maynards lay and pray (hopefully) as he has developed a nice boxing game to go along with his wrestling background. Huerta after a long hiatus returns to the octagon for what could be the last time as he will try his hand in Hollywood. I do not see his head being in the game and I think if it comes down to losing his "Hollywood" good looks, and winning the fight, OR winning the fight and getting beat about the face. I think he chooses not to get beat about the face and gives up a "please stop hitting me in the face" rear naked choke.



TUF 10

I might be looking forward to this more than the fight night! Rampage has been a long time favorite of mine and I dislike Evans enough to tune in just for that. Add to that potent reality tv mix, Kimbo Slice. Kimbo is one of those guys that you either love or hate. I started out loving him on youtube, Hating him when I had to watch him almost get beat by cans. I think I am back to loving him now that he is trying to prove he is legit. If nothing else this guy garners viewers.

Another fighter I like to watch that is on the show is "Big Country" Roy Nelson. This guy has got to be the most experienced/technical fighter on the show, but looking at him you would not know he was supposed to be an athlete. In shape I doubt this guy is even a heavyweight (I have no facts to back that up) but hey, he kicks ass and takes names. I wonder if he got into top physical condition what kind of damage this guy can do.

Until next time, Enjoy the fights!

I Love Dana White...

"Guess what Rashad Evans is thinking about right now," White said he plans to tell Jackson. "He's thinking about beating your fucking ass. He's not sitting around thinking about how him and his mom used to watch the fucking 'Love Boat' together and (how) he wants to get the role of Isaac the bartender."

"'Get a fucking grip, dude. You're going to make a lot of money. You ain't going to make a lot of money playing B.A. Baracus on 'The A-Team.' Jesus Christ. This fucking drives me fucking nuts.' So yeah, I'm not a big fan of fighters doing movies. When your career is over, if you turn into a movie star, that's awesome."

Ahh Dana, Dana. I love this man. The above quote is a response from Dana White, the UFC president, about one of his fighters taking time off from fighting (and dodging a fight with Rashad Evans) to star in the role of Mr. T in the remake of the A-Team.

Why so mad?

Well, Dana is devoting a full season of his reality show, The Ultimate Fighter, to get as many viewers as he can to possibly purchase the upcoming PPV between the two coaches. Do you remember when Matt Serra and Matt Hughes were coaches of a previous TUF? Tentions were high and ALOT of people wanted to see them bang and fight it out. The fight didn't happen until damn near 2 years later due to injuries and what not and by then, no one gave a shit.

The UFC reality show, TUF, is THE MAIN reason why the UFC has gotten so big. It gets viewers to purchase PPV events and it definitely gets viewers to purchase the PPV of the two coaches fighting eachother.

With one of the coaches taking time off to play the role of Mr. T, who knows when fight is going to take place and the casual fans of the sport that would have bought the PPV will now forget all about it and that is why Dana White is so mad.

I feel for the guy really. UFC is getting so big that he is losing his fighters to entertainment business.

I wonder what he thinks of that???

"I hate it with a fucking passion," White said when asked about UFC fighters who take movie roles. "'You're a fighter; you're not a movie star.' It's so fucking funny because fighters want to be movie stars, and movie stars want to act like they're fighters. 'Get a fucking grip. You're a fighter, and you're a fucking movie star. Alright?'"

Dana White for US President 2012 in my opinion. Can you imagine capital hill with this sweet talker in there?

<3

For the whole story, check it out here.

Brock Lesnar Defends and Tito Emerges

UFC 106 main event has been confirmed. It will be Brock Lesnar (4-1 MMA, 3-1 UFC) versus the undefeated, top contender Shane Carwin (11-0 MMA, 3-0 UFC).

I remember reading an article sometime right after UFC 100. It had to do with Shane Carwin "tweeting" saying that what Brock did after he won against Frank Mir was disrespectful, bad for MMA...blah, blah, blah. Shane did state that he wanted to beat Brock's ass during that same "tweet" so...now he will have his chance to put up or shut up.

Lets be real here too....Shane is going to get worked. I imagine the fight going just like the Heath Herring fight when he got worked by Brock. That was over a year ago and the present day Brock is MUCH better then he was in that fight. I want to see someone whoop Brock's ass too, but it isn't going to be Shane Carwin.

Of course I am going to watch though!

Talk about Old Heads....

I mean seriously....Tito versus Mark Coleman? Tito is only 34 years old, not old by MMA standards, but Mark Coleman is damn near 50.

You can argue that Mark Coleman is still a worthy opponent, but is he really? He gets no points for beating Stephan Bonnar...I seriously think that I have a shot against that scrub. Before UFC 100, the last time Mark Coleman fought in the UFC was in 1996.

Yes, 1996. If you are thinking WTF, then you and I are on the same wave length. Tito should put this senior into permanent retirement. I really don't see it any other way...I know at this level of competition anyone has a chance to win, but damn if Tito doesn't win....I am not sure what is next for either of these fighters.